Dealing with Infidelity in a Relationship: “My Boyfriend Cheated on Me”

Your Quick Guide to Relationship Success
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Your Quick Guide to Relationship Success
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Discovering that “my boyfriend cheated on me” can be an incredibly painful and challenging experience. It can shake the foundation of trust and leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, and unsure about the future of your relationship. It can leave you angry, filled with rage, and riding an emotional roller-coaster. However, it's important to remember that you have the power to determine how you respond to this situation and to your unfaithful boyfriend. This article will guide you through a step-by-step process to help you navigate the aftermath of infidelity, heal, possibly fore give and make informed decisions about your future.

Allow Yourself to Feel

The first step in dealing with infidelity is to acknowledge and process your emotions. It's normal to experience a range of feelings such as anger, sadness, confusion, and betrayal. Being betrayed can tank your self esteem and make you feel like isolating; not only from your unfaithful boyfriend, but also others. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and express them in a healthy way. Seek support from a licensed and seasoned Relationship Specialist, trusted friends or family members who can lend a listening ear and offer comfort during this difficult time.

Communicate Openly

When you're ready, have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about what happened. Express your feelings and concerns while giving him an opportunity to explain himself. Effective communication is vital to understanding each other's perspectives and determining whether rebuilding trust is possible. It's important to approach this conversation with a calm and collected mindset to promote productive dialogue. Keep in mind that no matter what he says, his infidelity is not your fault.

Seek Professional Help When you Discover My Boyfriend Cheated on Me

Consider seeking the guidance of a Relationship Specialist like Steven Cohn, PhD who specializes in infidelity. Remember: A Relationship Specialist only works with couples. A therapist who works with couples sometimes and individuals at other times is a general practitioner, and not a specialist. In a time of crisis, like cheating, it can be especially important to work with a specialist who has helped guide many couples down the long road to healing. A professional Relationship Specialist can provide a neutral and supportive environment to help both of you navigate the complexities of infidelity. Therapy can aid in addressing underlying issues in the relationship, promoting healing, and exploring the possibility of rebuilding trust. Remember, seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards healing. After you discover or are told that your boyfriend has been unfaithful, its helpful to seek out a Relationship Specialist as soon as possible to help you manage your way forward.

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Take Time for Self-Care

In the midst of the emotional turmoil, prioritize self-care. Engage in activities that bring you peace and help you regain your sense of yourself. This can include exercise, massage, hiking, cooking, knitting, yoga, spiritual pursuits, distracting hobbies, spending time with family and other loved ones, or practicing mindfulness and meditation. Taking care of your mental and physical well-being is essential during this challenging period.

Evaluate the Relationship

Discovering “my boyfriend cheated on me” forces you to reevaluate your relationship. Ask yourself if you can rebuild trust and forgive your boyfriend for his actions. But remember, it's important not to make big decisions in the middle of a crisis. Consider whether the relationship was healthy and fulfilling before the incident and whether you see a future together. Reflect on your own needs, values, and boundaries. Sometimes, moving on is the healthiest choice for both parties involved.

Rebuilding Trust

If you decide to work on rebuilding the relationship, trust will be the cornerstone. Rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and consistent effort from both partners. It may involve setting boundaries, open communication, and the willingness to forgive. Rebuilding trust is a gradual process, and setbacks may occur. Seek professional guidance to navigate this delicate journey successfully.

Know When to Let Go

Despite your efforts, rebuilding trust may not always be possible or in your best interest. Sometimes, the pain caused by infidelity is too deep to overcome, or the underlying issues in the relationship are insurmountable. In such cases, it's crucial to recognize when it's time to let go and prioritize your own well-being. Ending a relationship is never easy, but sometimes it's necessary for personal growth and happiness.


Discovering that your boyfriend has cheated on you is undoubtedly a painful experience, but it doesn't define your worth or dictate your future. Remember to allow yourself to heal, seek support, and engage in self-care. Be open to communication and seek the help of a Relationship Specialist. Ultimately, the decision to rebuild trust or move on lies with you. Trust your instincts, prioritize your well-being, and believe that brighter days lie ahead.

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Steven M Cohn, PhD, MBA, LMFT has twice been named one of the top three marriage counselors in Portland, Oregon by the non-profit organization Three Best Rated

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